


Not My Mail

by Tial



Series: Prompt Fills [2]
Category: Borderlands
Genre: Awful flirting, First Meetings, Fluff, Jack is a menace, Pre-Relationship, i still can't tag, vague mention of sex toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 16:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8217376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tial/pseuds/Tial
Summary: Based on the tumblr prompt by mewlink on the daily au page here: http://dailyau.tumblr.com/post/149466070245/ive-been-receiving-all-your-freaking-mail-since   “I’ve been receiving all your freaking mail since you moved out and you keep getting weird gifts from your brother make it stop” AU





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the tumblr prompt by mewlink on the daily au page here: http://dailyau.tumblr.com/post/149466070245/ive-been-receiving-all-your-freaking-mail-since
> 
>  
> 
> _“I’ve been receiving all your freaking mail since you moved out and you keep getting weird gifts from your brother make it stop” AU_
> 
>  
> 
> This and my other fanfics are perfect examples of how not to flirt, take notes! Unbetaed like always, hope you enjoy :)

“Bro… you need to get this to stop”

Vaughn had just come to meet at his former roommate’s apartment to accompany him to their shared morning lecture. Because he was a good bro, he had brought the largest coffee he could get from the local coffee shop, knowing that Rhys was the complete opposite of a morning person. However, he had immediately frowned as he took in the sight before him. Rhys - hunched over a package that was shaped suspiciously like a dildo - looked frustrated, very very frustrated. He didn’t even look up when the accountant spoke, he simply demanded “coffee” and sighed in relief when Vaughn handed the cup to him. Vaughn decided that it was better to wait for Rhys to speak on his own when he was more willing to interact.

It was about 15 minutes of them drinking their coffees in silence when Rhys interrupted.

“I don’t know what to do”

Vaughn frowned, this had been an ongoing issue. It had been funny at first, weird packages arriving every other week. They had never opened them (as they were never addressed to Rhys but to a ‘Timothy Lawrence’ who seemed to be related to the sender ‘Jack Lawrence’) however they found they didn’t need to open the packages to see what was inside. If the explicitly obvious packing wasn’t present, the descriptions such as ‘good kitty dress up kit’ made the contents painfully clear. These just got worse and worse as the humour wore off and the sender seemed to get more and more determined to get a reaction, sending package after package with less time between them until Rhys got one every day.

“I’m pretty sure the mailperson thinks I’m a sex addict, they side-eyed me the whole time I was signing”

“Your tie does give you that kind of look”

“It’s not funny!”

Vaughn made an indignant sound as he rubbed his already-bruising arm.

“You didn’t need to hit me with your METAL arm”

“You deserved that! My life is in crisis! She probably thinks I have some kind of messed up sex dungeon or something” “In your 3 room apartment?” “She’s probably calling the police right now and they’re gonna break in and see these packages and arrest me and it’s all because of this weirdo whose got the wrong address!”

Vaughn sat silent through Rhys’ rant, waiting until he was finished before interjecting.

“Have you tried to contact the guy?”

“Um…”

“You haven’t even looked for the guy’s number to see if you could get him to stop, have you?”

Rhys looked slightly embarrassed and nervously pushed his hand through his hair. As much as Vaughn loves Rhys, he can be an idiot sometimes.

“I was a bit too busy being worried about getting arrested!”

“Sure…”

Vaughn didn’t waste time, opening up his phone and entering Facebook; surely he can find someone with the name within the city. Luck had it that he found a ‘Timothy Lawrence’ that had previously lived in their neighbourhood, perfect.

“I think I found him”

“Let me see”

Vaughn handed Rhys the phone and was amused when Rhys’ brows raised in shock.

“He’s…cute…like I was kind of expecting a really creepy guy but he’s adorable, look at his eyes! And his freckles, I just want to cuddle him”

Rhys had turned the phone to show Vaughn Timothy’s profile picture again and the shorter man rolled his eyes at the predictability of his friend. Of course he would get distracted by the appearance of the guy and forget what he was just having a meltdown over.

“Bro, remember why we need to message him. You gotta get’cha your head in the game”

“I will so long as you don’t quote _High School Musical_ at me again”

Vaughn snorted but sat silently as Rhys typed out a message to Timothy.

\---

 **Rhys Sommerset:** Hello, I want to get straight to the point here and ask, did you used to live at 75 Hyperion St? Because I keep getting mail addressed to someone with the same name as you.

 **Timothy Lawrence:** Hi! :) Yes, I did live there, you must be the new tenant :) I’m really sorry that you were getting my mail :( I’d really appreciate it if you would let me pick the mail up but again, I’m sorry that you got it by mistake!

 **Rhys Sommerset:** Um… do you mind if I just send them to you or drop them off? I’m kind of really embarrassed by them and they make me uncomfortable…

 **Timothy Lawrence:** That’s weird, I don’t know what would make you so uncomfortable…

 **Timothy Lawrence:** Wait

 **Timothy Lawrence:** Oh no

 **Timothy Lawrence:** Who was sending it?

 **Rhys Sommerset:** Jack Lawrence.

 **Timothy Lawrence:** Oh god, I am sooo sorry I don’t know why he’dq2awipavmqeklDW

 **Timothy Lawrence:** hey pumpkin its jack here. did you like the gifts hahahaha. bet ya did if you even knew what to do with them. you’re a virgin right? i bet you are you look like it though timtams is pouting so i should get on with it. i knew timmy didn’t live there anymore but i knew you from our programming class and thought you looked like you needed something to replace the stick up your ass. i hope you enjoy! and feel free to give me feedback on them - with details. ciao

\---

“What the fuck, Jack?”

“Language, TimTams. You know you want to bang that perky ass just as much as I do”

“But… that’s not how you flirt!”

“It worked though, didn’t it? I got his Facebook now and guess what?”

“…what?”

“He just accepted my friend request, looks like the kitty wants to play too”

**Author's Note:**

> So this is like my third fanfic, whoop whoop. I figured it was a good way to get back into the whole writing thing which I haven't done for ages. I'd really appreciate any and all feedback, thanks!


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